but what i mean is

but what i mean is                            December 20, 2015
we haven’t spoken
since we had land-lines and dial-up
but your voice still feels like home
and soothes the ache
from my exile.

you ask what i am hiding from
but i don’t answer
because it is
my own fear and shame
i left.

is it that i still love you?
i never cried
when they tore me from you
and i never cried
when you did not wait for me
because i did not know how.

we tried once
to sleep together again
but i was high
and the commitment was broken.

but tonight
your voice is home
and i’m fifteen
when i answer the phone.
i say
–    merry christmas
and
–    sleep well
when we hang up
but what i mean is
–    i love you
and
–    sweet dreams.

Advertisements

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. My most recent completed endeavor was finishing BA's in Religious Studies and American Studies. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
This entry was posted in creative writing, poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s