are you?

are you? 1.8.15
you hold affection hostage
it is a prize i might earn
if i fulfill your fantasies
and unvoiced shifting expectations

i am not a whore
despite your love of that metaphor

if i should not say
–i love you–
then also i should not
love you with my body
i cannot do otherwise

are you only a customer
wanting me to open the door
after the till is closed and lights are out?

It took me a while to sort out the relationship described above. He once said, “if I have to ask it doesn’t feel like partnership.”

Um…yeah…and if you don’t ask and communicate you can’t have partnership.

He also once ordered me not to say “I love you.” And shortly after told me he wanted to fuck me in the ass. I declined the offer. For some reason. 😉

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. I'm kinda-sorta busy being a student again; this time I signed myself up for a bizarre torture known as Graduate School. Theoretically in 4ish years I'll have earned some more nice letters to put with my name. Let's face it, I'm addicted to learning and probably need rehab to restore me to sanity and remove the obsession to read books. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
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