Coed With Bifocals

I went to new student orientation today yesterday.

It was the short version for transfers and non-trads.

I have blisters all over my feet despite wearing my comfiest socks and best walking shoes.

Did I mention my school is 200 miles from my house?  Well, it is.  That’s life in the rural southwest.  I can get started taking classes online but it appears relocating is in my future.  That’s another post entirely.  But I also drove 400 miles in two days in addition to walking many, many miles.

EVERYTHING is online these days and I feel old.  I worry how I’ll do keeping up with kids closer to my kids’ age than my own.  I was starting to wonder if “old lady feet” could get me a disabled parking permit.  Yeah. Evil thinking on my part.

I think I’m really going to like this change.  I know it is what I need to do.  I would have loved to have stayed in school years ago but it just wasn’t an option.  My last semester for my AAS was brutal.  I had a newborn and a three year old and an ex who was (is?) more harm than help.  I had some of the toughest classes in the program but they were spring-only classes so there was no way to take them sooner or I would have.

The pressure was on for me to hurry up and get a job and be able to feed those kids.  So I did.  Somewhere way back in the early archives of this blog are posts about all the nightmare I had working and doing ALL the parenting while Icks got to focus on his education.  I let go my chance to stick with school then.  Foolish me.  I should have transferred and kept studying.

But I’m not going to get any younger.  And there is no time like now.  So I’m doing it.  My eyes and my feet are only going to get worse.  The grains of sand will trickle by with or without me.

This going back to school business has already been quite the education and classes don’t start till Monday.  Not only is this a much bigger school than the last college(s) I attended but the world has changed.  No longer does registration happen on a carbon-copy forms.  Paper is a thing of the past.

I’m good with computers.  I am just barely young enough to have had computers at home and at school as a child and my dad was well ahead of his time.  In many ways I have had advantages in technology access and abilities.  But it has still been a learning curve for me.  So much is new.

I’m not really THAT old.  But there’s something about having had to get bifocals that seems to have changed my brain.  I actually stopped at a green light a while back- there used to be a four-way stop there.  When I was in high school.  But somehow for that moment my brain forgot which decade I’m living in.

Can I keep up with those energetic young kids?  Thank God I won’t even be considering trying to drink and get educated.  I did plenty of that my first round of college.  At 18 I could manage several nights a week of hard drinking and being always stoned and still manage to keep my grades up.  There’s just no way now.  I don’t have the energy for that life.  And, this is one of those doors that opened for me living completely drink and drug free.  I can do this now.

I typed that first half last night and then fell asleep before finishing the post.  Way to prove my own my point.  And I woke up still tired this morning.

I might be well into the non-trad category, a mom of a tween and a big kid, a woman wearing bifocals and keeping a cat harem, but I suppose I do have advantages to make up for the extra years and (sometimes) lagging energy.  I know how to manage time and prioritize.  I’m no longer concerned with boys and booze and bongs.  I have a much stronger sense of security and confidence and spiritual place and purpose.  I’m old enough not to burn up energy on the frivolous and fantastical.  I know what I want to be when I grow up and I’m passionate and informed and dedicated.  I know when to ask for help and how to go find it.

I got to sit through a long presentation on “this isn’t high-school and how to succeed in university” yesterday and found so much of it in the “who doesn’t already know this?” category.  Advice like “go to class and participate.”  Really?  It might have been the perfect topic for incoming freshmen but I should hope us transfer students have figured that out by now.  Show up and speak up.  Most of life really is that simple.

And then I fell asleep after typing a few paragraphs this morning.  Now I’m alternating between hot and cold.  It appears I am coming down sick.  Sigh.  That’s the problem with places where large groups of eighteen-year-olds gather.  Germs.  College kids are as bad as preschoolers for spreading viral illness.  This was a problem for me before, it seemed like I was always sick with something while in school.  Makes me want to go all mom and ask, “did you wash your hands?” a hundred times a day.

Despite the exhaustion and stress I’m still really, really excited to be doing this.  I’ve already started reading my text books.  Hey, they’re good books!  It’s about time I got something besides site stats for reading and writing about what I read.  These are the sorts of books I’d read just for fun on my own anyways.  Go on, call me a nerd.  Thank you.  I think I’m going to love this new direction.  Although I now have professors younger than I am.

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. I'm kinda-sorta busy being a student again; this time I signed myself up for a bizarre torture known as Graduate School. Theoretically in 4ish years I'll have earned some more nice letters to put with my name. Let's face it, I'm addicted to learning and probably need rehab to restore me to sanity and remove the obsession to read books. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
This entry was posted in personal essay, pondering and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s