keep talking

keep talking
you will need
the girl who loves you
stubbornly, stupidly, selflessly
who trusts you
you will need her
she is your teacher
a prophet for your ears alone
she is insane
enough to keep talking
no matter how deaf your ears
to keep loving
no matter how hard your heart
to keep trusting
while you trample her

The problem with regularly praying for “knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry that out” is that that knowledge can be quite uncomfortable.  I have no idea if I even have the right idea.  I know I have work to do.  I know some of what some of that work is.  Love.  Talk.  Write.  Teach.  Trust.  Keep learning.  Growing.  Listening.  Reading.  Keep my eyes and ears open and always remember that God may use any mouth to speak.  Sometimes I suspect She uses my pen to teach me, I do not know what I think until after I have written it.  This is where faith gets hard for me.  Taking this leap requires a radical and insane faith.  I can have no power, no control of my own in this.  It is the ultimate in service and submission.  Am I ready?  How will I know if I am or if I am not?  Can I ever be ready or is this like having kids and no amount of ready is ever really ready?  Does it not sound truly crazy to say “God told me to?”  Don’t people who hear God get locked up or medicated or killed?  I feel like I am walking an invisible bridge and cannot even see the bank I cross to.  I simultaneously want to run and dance and to crawl feeling out every step one inch at a time.

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. I'm kinda-sorta busy being a student again; this time I signed myself up for a bizarre torture known as Graduate School. Theoretically in 4ish years I'll have earned some more nice letters to put with my name. Let's face it, I'm addicted to learning and probably need rehab to restore me to sanity and remove the obsession to read books. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
This entry was posted in creative writing, poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to keep talking

  1. Pingback: Top 15 of 2015 | the liminal life of m

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s