rowan

rowan
ten years old and convinced
that gw bush must be the best president ever
because he was born in texas and she was born in texas
and her family’s from texas
and anyways she likes his war

and how do i explain
that war is always wrong
because people from everywhere get hurt

i’m in the shitty position of almost step parent
and ten years of brainwashing can’t be corrected
in eight days of tense tip toeing in an overstuffed apartment

two bored uncomfortable kids
parked in front of a TV that gets louder every few minutes
and my pets a terrorized stunned silence that their home is dangerous
at ten and twelve they watch TV i wouldn’t consider appropriate for my grandma

i know there’s something wrong here
these children are neglected, abused
their mother’s overworked and traumatized
and their father’s example teaches violence

(i am confused
i love(d) this man)
and believed his story (his lies)
and am carrying his third child
while i witness the evidence
of his fatherhood.

this is my home
and i’m always sick
and can find no space to breathe
i try to set limits
but these children have no respect
– with reason –
they have never known respect

i left their father
weeks after they went back to their home
and now – more than a year later –
i raise my son alone
and pray for those children
wishing i could speak with them


Right after I found out I was pregnant.

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. I'm kinda-sorta busy being a student again; this time I signed myself up for a bizarre torture known as Graduate School. Theoretically in 4ish years I'll have earned some more nice letters to put with my name. Let's face it, I'm addicted to learning and probably need rehab to restore me to sanity and remove the obsession to read books. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
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4 Responses to rowan

  1. joesister says:

    Your writing is so brave and familiar to me, love this- your bravery and beauty are palpable through your words.

    Like

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