I started to comment here but realized I have way too much to say to fit it all in a comment box. I’ve done plenty of mental listing over the years but maybe it’s time I forced myself to formalize it a bit, so here goes, in no particular order.
1) I want a man who values our relationship first and foremost.
2) He needs to take care of himself well enough that I can trust him to take care of me if I ever need it. He needs to be willing to trust me to take care of him if he needs it.
3) I want lots of good sex. Sometimes wild and crazy, sometimes sweet and tender.
4) He needs to learn to love my children, they come second.
5) We need to share a dream.
6) He needs to value family, ours, mine, his.
7) He has to love learning and be willing to never stop growing.
8 ) He has to want to make the world a better place. If even only through raising good kids.
9) I’d be dead if it weren’t for my sense of humor. Sometimes it’s a dark humor. He must be willing to laugh with me, at me and at himself.
10) I need to feel like his goddess. I’m willing to treat him like a god in return.
11) He must understand that I am a poet. And understand what this means. And be willing to live with it. Forever. Whatever he is must be something I can understand. And be willing to live with. Forever.
12) I need a relationship that is flexible and elastic enough to let me grow but still static and stable enough I feel safe and secure.
13) He must enjoy creation/nature with respect and passion. This does not mean extreme back-packing but rather a willingness to make small sacrifices for the good of all.
14) He cannot be perfect. He needs to understand that I cannot be perfect.
15) I have a dark side. Sometimes I do awful things. Usually to myself. He needs to be able to understand that sometimes it really is not him but me…. Sometimes he will need to be there even when I say I want to be alone.
16) I must be able to forgive him anything. He must be able to forgive me anything.
17) He must be responsible, reasonable and intelligent. Prefereably also well read, well educated and well rounded.
18) We need to be able to have a good time just by being together. Even if all we’re doing is washing dishes or scrubbing veggies.
19) We need to communicate openly and honestly about everything, even if it’s uncomfortable. Especially it it’s uncomfortable.
20) There must be Spark: lust, desire, attraction. There needs to be Spirit: love, affection, passion.
21) He needs to turn me on. This requires a high level of trust and faith on my part. I need to know that we are committed and tuned in to each other.