Problems with Icks


I try to back off and just let him and the kids play when he comes to see them, more and more the older they get and the less J wants me in her sight all the time.  So I had thought everything was going well.  They were eating a snack while I worked on a few chores.  I come out and J’s barely touched her food, he’s standing right over her, supervising every bite and trying to make her want down all ready.  I tell him that she eats best if everyone backs off and lets her do it.  He pops off “boy am I glad I don’t live with you,” in a perfectly nasty voice right in front of the kids.  I bite my tongue and wait till I’ve put J down for her nap and PB’s watching Blue’s Clues to pull him out on the porch and discuss it.  And again, he’s perfectly nasty and immature about being called on his steaming pile.

I refuse to say anything at all bad about him in front of the kids.  I think that children should never have to hear that either of there parents is ___fill in the blank with nasty comment_____.   I know he’s just reacting out of jealousy he won’t admit to but that still doesn’t mean that I have to put up with him talking trash about me in front of my kids in my house.

Oh yeah, and he’s got along list of excuses for why he’s short on money this month.  But did I say anything?  No, I just let it go, even though I’m coming out really short this month too and if there ever was a time I could use another $100 it’s now.  This pretty well sums up why I never plan to rely on him providing J, he’s just not reliable about it.  I plan to provide from them entirely on my own because to do otherwise is to invite being in a position where they need something that isn’t there to give.

The Ex seems to think that he should have veto power over any one I date.  He’s gone on a jealousy and insanity kick and had to call me last night just to rant about it.  Ugh.

Really, where does he get the idea that he has the right to tell me what to do?  Remember, this is the a-hole who ordered  me to abort J.  The looser who sometimes and works and sometimes pays child support.  (over all he has gotten better about this in the last year)  He has no place to talk about how I live my life and who I may or may not decide to live it with.

Now, certainly if I was with someone who abused kids it would be right of him to interfere.  But being good with kids is a deal breaker for me.  I’m not wasting my time on any man who isn’t atleast kind and gentle with my children.  I can’t really expect a man to walk into my life and love my kids like I do, that takes a lot of time, but I’m not committing myself to any one who doesn’t.

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. I'm kinda-sorta busy being a student again; this time I signed myself up for a bizarre torture known as Graduate School. Theoretically in 4ish years I'll have earned some more nice letters to put with my name. Let's face it, I'm addicted to learning and probably need rehab to restore me to sanity and remove the obsession to read books. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
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