Why Wait?

I mentioned a few days ago that even after I explained to Potential that I’m now waiting for marriage he didn’t go screaming out the door.  I should offer the explanation here, too.

I have 2 children, with different fathers.  I have no desire to have another baby with an empty blank for Father’s Name on the birth certificate.

I no longer have much faith in birth controll.

I’ve been with a high enough number of men to not feel like I need to add another one to my list any time soon.

I feel that another casual sexual relationship (one without serious, long term commitment) would push my emotional balance beam far off its equilibrium.

I want to set a healthy example for my children.

I want him to prove he loves me, to show me what I am worth to him.

Having said all that, this waiting thing is going to be really hard.  He really turns me on.  And we’ve all ready been together many years ago so I do know what I’m missing.  Which makes it much worse.  And we’ve got along way to go before we’ll be ready to discuss actually getting married.  Neither of us is any where near ready for that yet.

But I do think that it is worth doing all the same.  We did agree that we can wait for each other.  He won’t pressure me into making love before I’m ready and I’ll be patient while he starts his business.  But sigh….  waiting is not something I do well and patients is a a virtue I don’t really possess.

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. I'm kinda-sorta busy being a student again; this time I signed myself up for a bizarre torture known as Graduate School. Theoretically in 4ish years I'll have earned some more nice letters to put with my name. Let's face it, I'm addicted to learning and probably need rehab to restore me to sanity and remove the obsession to read books. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
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