Daycare called me at work again today. PB fell of the slide (after his teacher told him not to climb up it) and split his mouth open. By the time I got there it had quit bleeding. By now it looks like as long as I can get him to sit still for the day it’ll be fine soon enough. Of course, when they called I assumed the worse and made a mad dash to get to him.
Actually, I’m surprised that this is the first time in a year he bled enough to warrant a call to me. He’s a little monkey man, the sort of boy who climbs up the tops of tunnel slides and anything else he sees as a challenge. Occasionally he’ll show a healthy level of caution in unfamiliar territoy but for the most part if it can be scaled he’ll be found at the top.
It does mean I’m going to have a really short pay check this week. I picked up J early Wednesday for what turned out to be bug bites. Oh well, we have alot that needs doing at home and we need this time to catch up with each other and our chores. I think we’ll go on and get the weekend’s shopping out of the way. It’ll make fitting in a trip to the County Fair with Potential a bit less hectic and more enjoyable.
I’m a little hesitant to add a man to my children’s lives. What if it doesn’t work out and they’ve already gotten attached to him? But on the other hand we are a package deal and I want to know now if they don’t like him or he doesn’t like them. Luckily we are part of over lapping social circles so it’s not too hard to plan chances to get everybody together to test the interaction without it being to serious. And I figure that a few hours at the county fair is a good way to test the waters. So far it seems like my kids and my new boy friend get along alright. But I am still trying to set some boundries and mostly see him after they’re in bed for the night.
I call him once everybody’s asleep, tell him that I really would like to see him but that I’ve got tons of chores to do. Miracle of all miracles, he comes over anyways and helps me clean up. He’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. But there’s alot to be said for a man who’ll dry sippy cups for kids that aren’t even his. Who’ll arrange to get a cat to the vet in a hurry. Who knows how to help stand up a blown over tomato cage. Who can pull a wagon of kids, carry a cat, and kiss me all at once.
Yet I can’t turn off that yellow caution light in my brain. While it is often lonely I love my life as a single mother. I love the freedom and space I have just me and my kiddos. We can eat tuna helper for dinner if we want. I can leave the toys all over the place. I never have to check with someone else when it’s decision making time. And I’m still terrified to let someone in my heart. That door’s been rusted shut for a long time and isn’t opening easily. It doesn’t help that I’ve stacked a pile of old furniture in front of it. But yet, slowly and surely, he’s started oiling the hinges and sweeping the cobwebs.
Not only to my kids have accidents and injuries, it’s looking like I’m accidently falling too….