I’ve got a mountain of stuff I should be doing tonight. Alas, my mind is full and tired. And I’ve got a lap full of non-sleeping baby. She nods back off, I put her down.
I can’t afford to waste time, the stakes are too high to allow for goofing off. But I’m not good for much at the moment.
It has been a long and frightening weak. The news at work is bad. But still much better then what I see at other places. We will make it. The company had a reputation for being the best. Much of our competition is already crumbling ender the pressure of the economy. And really, it is a great place to work.
I’m not yet used to my new routine. Once I get my clock set I have a hard time changing it.
I’m trying to unwind so I can go to sleep atleast, that would count as a productive use of time. But my mind is running in circles, it’s like watching a kitten chase it’s own tail. I frantically return to right where I started from. Maybe I should go have a drink and settle down with a book. It might help. Or it might just keep me up all night. I’m a dork like that, getting sucked into a novel and being unable to put it down, letting it eat into my life and steal my sleep. What can I say, reading is about the only pleasure I have left. I never have the time to watch a movie in one sitting, I can’t afford a babysitter for a night out after paying the daycare bill. By the end of the week I’m spent.
Between kids and work and friendships I need a bit of time alone. This little bit of slacking off something I Have to do. But I shouldn’t call it slacking. Tonight I’ve got words brewing in my mind. I need to work on that book. If an hour a every few weekends is all the time I have for it then that is what I shall give it. I cannot not do this. I just wish that I didn’t have to work so hard to squish these moments in between all the requirements of my life. With that, I am off to get busy.