procrastinating

I’ve got a mountain of stuff I should be doing tonight.  Alas, my mind is full and tired.  And I’ve got a lap full of non-sleeping baby.  She nods back off, I put her down.

I can’t afford to waste time, the stakes are too high to allow for goofing off.  But I’m not good for much at the moment.

It has been a long and frightening weak.  The news at work is bad.  But still much better then what I see at other places.  We will make it.  The company had a reputation for being the best.  Much of our competition is already crumbling ender the pressure of the economy.  And really, it is a great place to work.

I’m not yet used to my new routine.  Once I get my clock set I have a hard time changing it.

I’m trying to unwind so I can go to sleep atleast, that would count as a productive use of time.  But my mind is running in circles, it’s like watching a kitten chase it’s own tail.  I frantically return to right where I started from.  Maybe I should go have a drink and settle down with a book.  It might help.  Or it might just keep me up all night.  I’m a dork like that, getting sucked into a novel and being unable to put it down, letting it eat into my life and steal my sleep.  What can I say, reading is about the only pleasure I have left.  I never have the time to watch a movie in one sitting, I can’t afford a babysitter for a night out after paying the daycare bill.  By the end of the week I’m spent.

Between kids and work and friendships I need a bit of time alone.  This little bit of slacking off something I Have to do.  But I shouldn’t call it slacking.  Tonight I’ve got words brewing in my mind.  I need to work on that book.  If an hour a every few weekends is all the time I have for it then that is what I shall give it.  I cannot not do this.  I just wish that I didn’t have to work so hard to squish these moments in between all the requirements of my life.  With that, I am off to get busy.

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. I'm kinda-sorta busy being a student again; this time I signed myself up for a bizarre torture known as Graduate School. Theoretically in 4ish years I'll have earned some more nice letters to put with my name. Let's face it, I'm addicted to learning and probably need rehab to restore me to sanity and remove the obsession to read books. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
This entry was posted in baby, cats, daycare, economy, family, reading, single mom, writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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