the blahs

I’ve got a bad case of the blahs today.  I feel like heck.  I want to think it’s allergies but it’s starting to seem more like a cold.  I’m supposed to run errands after I leave work this afternoon but I’m starting to realize that it will probably be futile to try.  I’ll spend the whole afternoon driving around and just wear myself out further.  I’ll probably forget half the things I’m supposed to get and end up having to go back on Sunday.  I think I’m going to go home and take a nap.  Maybe get a few of the chores done.  I just don’t have the energy to go anymore.  I’m long over due for a serious crash. 

I push myself way too hard.  I know this.  I would be much saner and healthier if I could slow down.  Alas, I’m going to have to settle for a Friday afternoon nap with my cats while the laundry dries.  Between taking care of the kids and keeping the job that takes care of the kids there just isn’t an option to crash.  I’ve needed a mental breakdown for the last year and a half.  It’ll have to wait another 18 or 20 years.

Maybe I’ll be in a better state of both mind and body after a bit of rest.  I certainly hope so.  Too much rides on me, I have to keep going, have to push myself. 


I had an odd dream about green chili last night.  I was standing in the junked equipment yard at work and first one of the people I worked with pulled two huge ziplocs of chopped chili out of his pocket.  Then this little boy came by and pulled even more out of his back pack.  It was very odd.  Then I woke up and my throat was burning.  I think I was breathing out of my mouth all night cuz my nose is full of pollen and dust. 


We went to the parent meeting at the preschool last night so we didn’t get home and to bed until late.  Hardly anybody showed up.  And it was seriously disorganized.  Not really worth the time we were there but I did get to visit with Cera a bit.  Her boy’s the same age and size as PB.  And she’s short and dark haired and furry like me.  I’ve found someone to give the rest of the little baby stuff to, she’s not due untill October but I would ahve guessed May or June because she’s huge already.  I’m a little superstitious about giving away little baby things and maternity clothes.  I had just given away the last of PB’s baby stuff when I got pregnant with J.  I’m sure this is another of those things Mr. Murphy does just to F with moms.  Cera said she’s gotten rid of all TT’s baby things just a little while ago and now she’s looking to find a whole new set already.

About m

My ego wants to think I'm a writer but my heart knows I'm just another one of God's Kids who sometimes has words to say. 2 human kids and 3 feline kids call me Mom. Or Mooooooom. Or mewom, depending which you ask. I'm kinda-sorta busy being a student again; this time I signed myself up for a bizarre torture known as Graduate School. Theoretically in 4ish years I'll have earned some more nice letters to put with my name. Let's face it, I'm addicted to learning and probably need rehab to restore me to sanity and remove the obsession to read books. I don't remember what free time is but I think I like to spend it sleeping or playing in the mud on a river bank.
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