peter pan

peter pan                                    January 16, 2016
i read the poem i wrote for you
and i’m living like i’m fifteen again
with no one to feed me

the old women see the hope
of at least the lost children
have found one another
and can cling together
but they do not know
our story’s end
of separation, desperation
your betrayal
my weekend in jail

they do not know why she was forsaken
or that she still mourns for you
and has had nothing to eat
but those cookie bars today

i’m going to try to rework
that poem so that it tells
the whole story
of our never land
and how even when peter pan
finished university
he still aches for his lost wings.

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romeo and juliet grown up

romeo and juliet grow up                            December 21, 2015
my inbox is full
but your name isn’t here.
i don’t want to hear
another man’s jokes
with your voice in my ear
from a late night call.
maybe we are too old
to revisit those nights
when we frantically fit
every second we could
fitting our teenage bodies together.
did we have some premonition
that like juliet and romeo
we would be consigned to separation?
our tragedy not swift and fatal
for we clung to our survival
but one of being middle-aged
with this ache still in our hearts.

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but what i mean is

but what i mean is                            December 20, 2015
we haven’t spoken
since we had land-lines and dial-up
but your voice still feels like home
and soothes the ache
from my exile.

you ask what i am hiding from
but i don’t answer
because it is
my own fear and shame
i left.

is it that i still love you?
i never cried
when they tore me from you
and i never cried
when you did not wait for me
because i did not know how.

we tried once
to sleep together again
but i was high
and the commitment was broken.

but tonight
your voice is home
and i’m fifteen
when i answer the phone.
i say
–    merry christmas
–    sleep well
when we hang up
but what i mean is
–    i love you
–    sweet dreams.

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